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by Abigail Van Buren

Expectant Mom Wishes Her Good Deed Could Be Undone

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 14 years and have four beautiful children. I want to return to nursing school and have for quite a while. I have been accepted to college, but my husband says he wants me to wait until our kids are out of school. Our youngest is only in the fourth grade.

I sometimes feel my husband doesn't want me to better myself. We have had a rocky relationship. He cheated on me three years ago and since then, my feelings are no longer the same for him.

Do you think I am being selfish for wanting to go to school? This is something I would like to do without feeling guilty. Please help. -- CONFUSED IN NEW YORK

DEAR CONFUSED: Listen to your intuition. If it's telling you you may need to prepare to be independent and provide for yourself and your children, then that's what you need to do, and don't feel guilty about it. This may have something to do with the fact that your relationship with your husband has changed since you learned he was unfaithful. If your marriage improves -- fabulous. But if it doesn't, you won't be left without a marketable skill -- so go for it.