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by Abigail Van Buren

Expectant Mom Wishes Her Good Deed Could Be Undone

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law, who is in her 80s, was always an amazing hostess. She is excited and eager to help with the upcoming wedding of a grandchild. Detailed tasks now cause her anxiety, which results in serious physical symptoms.

We suggested that she could help by writing a journal about what she has learned in her own long marriage. She's an excellent writer, but she wasn't interested in the idea.

Can you or your readers suggest any other ways a parent can help -- something with low anxiety but that feels meaningful? -- BRIDE'S MOM IN VIRGINIA

DEAR BRIDE'S MOM: Your mother-in-law could donate an item that would fall into the "something borrowed" or "something blue" category. She might also present her granddaughter with a collection of family recipes.

But if neither of these ideas interest her, and she has her heart set on entertaining, then why not have her co-host a shower or luncheon, which would take much of the pressure of planning the event off her shoulders? Readers?