DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship, but there is one big problem. I don't like to share blankets at bedtime. The truth is, I like to sleep comfortably with my blankets tucked all around. I have honestly tried sharing, but I can't sleep that way or even get comfortable. My boyfriend thinks I'm weird and that I don't like being close to him at night. Isn't sharing a bed enough? -- CREATURE OF HABIT
DEAR CREATURE: In my opinion it is, but because your boyfriend doesn't agree with you, you DO have a problem. Getting enough sleep is important for maintaining one's health, and studies show that people aren't getting enough of it these days. Try explaining this to him, along with the fact that intimacy is what happens BEFORE you hit the sheets.
However, if he still doesn't get it, then he will have to decide whether your virtues outweigh your "idiosyncrasy." (Believe me, I've heard worse.)
DEAR ABBY: My darling husband, "Darren," and I are soul mates, yet he has asked me for a divorce. He says it's not because he doesn't love me, but because he does.
Abby, we may be facing bankruptcy. Darren doesn't want to drag me and my credit down. He doesn't want to leave, and thinks that after we divorce our life can go on as it has been -- although on paper we'll no longer be husband and wife.
My first thought was, No! We are husband and wife. I MEANT "for richer or poorer." We're in our 50s, and Darren says he is looking out for my future.
I am committed to my marriage and believe we're in this financial situation together. I didn't marry Darren for his money, and I certainly don't want to divorce him over money.
Darren swears this isn't an excuse to get out of our marriage. He says we can be married again as soon as we're back on our feet. Am I wrong about this, Abby? Should I "suspend" our marriage? It's breaking my heart to even consider it. -- IN TEARS IN TUCSON
DEAR IN TEARS: Dry your tears and make an appointment for you and Darren to consult your CPA. Your husband is either misguided, or he MAY be making an excuse to get out of the marriage.
Because the bills were run up during your marriage, divorce may not relieve you from liability. Of course, laws vary from state to state, however, it may be possible for your husband to file bankruptcy on his own. Furthermore, there needs to be a reason for divorce, and there are penalties for making false statements. So I don't recommend it.
DEAR ABBY: I am being married this year and have an etiquette question. A close family member was recently arrested and will be in jail at the time my wedding takes place. Because of our close relationship, I would like to invite him, but I'm worried that to do so would be considered more offensive than not inviting him, as he will obviously not be able to attend. What do you think? -- TRYING TO BE KIND IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR TRYING TO BE KIND: Because of the circumstances, write your family member a letter telling him that you are being married, that you love him, and you will be thinking of him on your wedding day. My feeling is sending a formal invitation would make him feel even more isolated and left out than he already does.
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