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by Abigail Van Buren

Platonic Soul Mates Mull a Married Life Together

DEAR ABBY: I consider my best friend, "Randall," to be my platonic soul mate -- like a brother, only closer. Randall is gay. I am a straight female. We have no romantic interest, but a deep and meaningful love nonetheless.

We have talked about raising children together, but in order to adopt in some states there is a requirement that the parents be married. Our state does not happen to be one of them.

Would it be considered duping friends and family to have a "real" wedding? -- PLATONIC SOUL MATE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR PLATONIC SOUL MATE: There is no requirement that in order to be married a couple MUST have sex. If you and Randall wish to be legally married and have a "real" wedding, nothing prevents it.

HOWEVER: Before you take such a step, it is extremely important that you and Randall have an understanding and ensure that you are really committed to raising a child (or children) TOGETHER, even if one of you should meet someone. It would be sad, indeed, if after adopting, the marriage didn't work out and you wound up fighting over custody of the children. It happens all too often when "traditional" marriages fail, and it could happen to you unless you have a meeting of the minds.