DEAR ABBY: After many years of being single, I met a woman I'll call "Trish" on a blind date. We're both in our late 40s, and we hit it off. We have many things in common.
One night I was at her place when she received a phone call. Trish made it short and sweet and hung up. A few minutes later, I asked who it was, and she told me it was her boss. Abby, I know how she answers the phone when it's her boss -- and it wasn't him. When I said, "That was NOT your boss," she admitted it was one of her boss's clients, but said nothing was going on between them.
When I first met Trish, she mentioned that a client had come in one day, had wine and cheese, then leaned over and kissed her. It's the same guy that called -- and he's married.
I am very hurt. We have both been cheated on. I don't think she has cheated, but she lied to my face. My first instinct is to dump her, but I love her. What should I do? -- HURT IN VERMONT
DEAR HURT: Are you and Trish in a committed relationship? If not, you had no right to question her about who was calling.
That said, a person who would lie to you once would lie to you twice. Listen to your gut. She may not be having a physical affair, but something is going on or she wouldn't have tried to mislead you about who was on the phone.
DEAR ABBY: Ever since I was a child, when my mother gave me a gift, as I opened it she would always say that she had bought a bigger, better or prettier gift for me -- but liked it so much she decided to keep it for herself.
Once she told me that she had purchased a jacket for me, but kept it even though she is several sizes smaller than I am. After wearing it a few times, she offered it to me because it was "too big for her."
My mother was the oldest of six children, and I am her only child. Why do you think she behaves as she does? -- WOUNDED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR WOUNDED: That your mother feels the need on every special occasion to tell you that she comes first indicates that something within herself is missing. As the oldest of six children, was her childhood deprived in some way? Is this her only eccentricity, and is she an ideal mother the rest of the year? I find it sad that your mother is unable to give with a generous heart. If she's this way with a gift, it follows that she must be this way about other things, too.
DEAR ABBY: The other night, some friends and I were visiting and telling stories. In one story, I used the word "sneaked," and everyone corrected my grammar saying that "snuck" is the correct form and "sneaked" is not a word. I disagree.
I hear people use the word "snuck," but I don't think "snuck" is a word. Who is right? -- SECOND-GUESSING MYSELF IN MINNESOTA
DEAR SECOND-GUESSING: "Sneaked" and "snuck" are both words, according to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition. "Sneaked," however, is more generally accepted among fussy grammarians like me.
DEAR ABBY: Is it proper for a married woman to go out to eat alone when her husband refuses to take her? -- SOLO IN SHERMAN, TEXAS
DEAR SOLO: Absolutely, if she can afford to pay for it and there is enough pet food in the doghouse.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)