DEAR ABBY: I'm struggling with a question of family loyalty. I grew up in a broken home with no father and was subjected to various kinds of abuse. I'm now 21 and have had a serious boyfriend, "Will," for several years. Will's family has always welcomed me with open arms, and I enjoy being with them. They are easy to love, unlike my own family.
Of course I love my mom and sibling. We have been through a lot together. The problem is, I prefer spending holidays and trips home with Will's family rather than my own. His family get-togethers are filled with laughter, games and stimulating conversation. When my family gets together, there is nothing but negative talk about people, jobs, the future –- basically everything. There are often screaming matches and swearing, with me listening with tears in my eyes.
I endured the environment during my entire childhood, and I don't want to go back to it. Am I being disloyal in choosing my boyfriend's family over my own the majority of the time? –- DIVIDED IN MILWAUKEE
DEAR DIVIDED: Considering the circumstances, I don't think you are being disloyal. However, rather that writing your family off entirely, allot a certain amount of time to see them. When the negativity starts, explain that it makes you very uncomfortable when they act that way, and that you're going to Will's house. It will send a pointed message that may be overdue.