DEAR ABBY: My mother lacks social sensitivity. She just doesn't know how to communicate with people, especially her kids and grandkids. She makes critical and inappropriate comments that create tension and misunderstanding. Often her trivial opinions will bring conversations to a dead stop.
She has told me she doesn't do it on purpose. But my husband, kids and in-laws don't understand why she's the way she is. Mom had a very hard life. My father was an abusive alcoholic. After they divorced, Mom raised three kids on her own. We were very poor and don't have many good memories. We grew up surrounded by anger, hopelessness and negativity.
I love my mother very much, and I know she tried her best, but we are still a dysfunctional family. I am considering having family therapy. Mom is 73 now. Is she too old to have therapy? I really need your advice. -- TRYING TO HELP IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TRYING TO HELP: If someone recognizes there is a problem and is open to getting help, then there is no age limit for psychotherapy. However, if you think family therapy will change your mother, you're barking up the wrong tree. What family therapy can do is help you, your husband, your kids and the in-laws to react differently to her -- and in a case like this, it might be helpful.