DEAR ABBY: Have you any advice for a woman who is married to a perpetual do-gooder? Every time someone asks for help, "Sam" feels he MUST. He's often gone three to five evenings a week after work, and at least once over the weekend. When Sam is home, he's so exhausted from all his activities and late nights that he just sleeps. (By the way, my husband is not the cheating type.)
When I point out that the kids and I need him as much or more than his "charity cases," he promises to cut back. Then he'll get another call for help and automatically says "yes."
If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. -- GOOD NEIGHBOR SAM'S WIFE
DEAR WIFE: While helping others is a virtue, Sam has turned it into something less than noble because his priorities are scrambled. It appears you married someone so hungry for affirmation that he can't say no to anyone.
Spending time with you and the children should be higher on his list. It is time to ask your husband if his do-gooding isn't also a way of avoiding his responsibilities as a husband and father, because the family has been getting the short end of the stick.