DEAR ABBY: When I had my first child, my sister "Ursula" bought me a cradle swing that retails for about $180. I have used it for both my children and have kept it in excellent condition. My youngest is nearing the recommended weight limit for the swing, so I'm considering selling it, as I do with all the items my children outgrow. I should get about $75 for it.
I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband works two jobs. We live on a tight budget. I'd like to use the money I get for the swing for birthday and Christmas gifts for the kids.
Ursula's husband's niece, "Bree," is having a baby boy in two months. I'm not close to Bree and see her only every other year. I plan on giving her lots of the baby clothes, toys and equipment I have. I could have sold them, but chose to give them to Bree. I don't plan on giving her the swing.
Ursula is now reminding me that she and her husband gave me the swing and they would like me to pass it along to Bree. Am I obligated to give what was a gift to me and my children to Bree's child? There were no stipulations when I received it. How do I handle this? -- PUZZLED IN PLANO, TEXAS
DEAR PUZZLED: For Ursula to dictate to you how you dispose of the gift takes a lot of nerve, and no rule of etiquette obligates you to give the swing to Bree. However, unless you want that swing to become a bone of contention and a source of resentment, give it to Bree with a smile. The good feelings it will generate are worth more than $75 -- and the penalty isn't worth it. Trust me.