DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ernie," and I have been together almost a year. He has two wonderful children from a previous marriage. I love Ernie dearly, although we have only been dating for what seems like a short while.
The other night he brought up the subject of marriage and said he wanted to get me a promise ring. I was caught off guard. I know his feelings were hurt when I shied away from him when he mentioned it. What should I say to him? I don't know if I'm ready for the next step, but I don't want to hurt his feelings by rejecting him. Give me the words, Abby. -- APPREHENSIVE IN LOVE
DEAR APPREHENSIVE: Tell Ernie that although you care for him, you are not ready to make a lifetime commitment. And unless you are sure that you want to be married to Ernie (which you are not) and are prepared to help him raise his children, you should not accept his promise ring.
It will then be up to Ernie to decide whether he wants to wait around, hoping you will change your mind, or move on and look for someone else.