DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 12 years, "Kimberly," has been engaged to "Oliver" for about six months, living with him for four. She recently confided to me that she does not want to be married and regrets ever moving in with him. We both cried as she told me everything that has been going on. She apologized for not telling me sooner how unhappy she was.
The next day, Kimberly claimed she regretted saying anything because it made Oliver sound so horrible. She said she had failed to tell me the good things he does to balance out the bad. I remained noncommittal and told her I am always here to listen. I told her my rule is, "Are the good times worth the bad?" She said they weren't, and she still doesn't want to get married. But she also insists she won't back out or say anything.
What should I do? Now that I know everything, it is impossible for me to see my best friend, who I love, enter a marriage she herself says she doesn't want. Should I keep my mouth shut, or fight on her behalf, since she refuses to speak up? -- ADVOCATE FOR HAPPINESS IN SEATTLE
DEAR ADVOCATE: Neither one. Tell you friend that, feeling ambivalent as she does, she and Oliver should seek premarital counseling from the person who will officiate at their wedding. If this marriage is not to be, it will become evident to all three of them at that time.