DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are going through a financial situation which many families seem to face these days, where the wife has to take care of the family's finances.
Yesterday my husband asked me to give him some money. Of course I told him I would give it to him, but I wanted to know what he needed it for because I had given him enough a week ago that should have gotten him through a minimum of three weeks.
My husband became angry and told me to "forget the money," that he would manage one way or another. I tried explaining to him that if the situation was the other way around, he would have wanted to know what I needed the money for and that I was only concerned, but he's still mad at me. I apologized, but he's still hurt.
Was it wrong to ask him what he needed the money for?
-- WORRIED WIFE IN NIGERIA
DEAR WORRIED WIFE: Your question was probably spontaneous, and certainly to the point. More than what happened to the money, your husband's defensive reaction is cause for concern. If he was proud of where the money went, he would have answered the question.
However, please consider that another reason he may have overreacted is that he feels it should be his place to be the breadwinner -- and the fact that you are is a blow to his ego.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a freshman in college and having one of the best times of my life. I have made a lot of good friends. My only problem is I don't have a boyfriend. It's not that I feel I can't exist without one. I have been perfectly content as a single girl. But I'm 18 now, and still haven't kissed a guy.
One by one, each of my friends has found someone. I know a lot of guys through activities I'm involved in, or my classes, but I am terrified of initiating something. I really need them to make the first move. I'm worried that no one will be interested in me because I'm a bit overweight and I'm self-conscious about it.
Abby, can you think of anything I could do to change my situation? -- WANTING A GUY AT CORNELL
DEAR WANTING A GUY: Perhaps. May I suggest an extra-curricular activity for you? It's one that will give you a chance to meet and mingle with new people. Join a gym. It's healthy, it's fun, and it's a non-threatening way to meet all sorts of people with different interests. It's also an effective way to lose weight, tone up and gain self-confidence. Give it a try and let me hear from you in six months. I'll bet by then your problem will have resolved itself.
DEAR ABBY: I am an 11-year-old girl with a problem. My mom is dating a really cool guy. He's nice and remembers our birthdays and stuff like that, but I don't like him that much. I have talked to my mom and my school counselor about it. What do you suppose I should do now? -- ISSUES WITH MOM'S B.F.
DEAR ISSUES: Just because your mother likes him does not mean that you have to like him "that much." He is your mother's friend. Therefore, you should treat him with the same respect and consideration that you would want your mother to treat one of YOUR friends.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600