DEAR ABBY: My husband and I eat at a self-serve restaurant several times a week. We have gotten to know the owners, the employees and several other regulars we enjoy visiting with. We also enjoy having time alone to sit and chat by ourselves.
A cousin of my husband's has discovered that we frequent this restaurant every Saturday night. He shows up and sits right down at our table, even if we are with other people. We want to let him know this can't continue, but we don't want to be rude -- although we feel he is being rude to us. How can we put an end to this? -- INVADED IN GRAND RAPIDS
DEAR INVADED: I have two suggestions. The first is to summon the courage to tell this cousin that you go to that restaurant to relax, be alone together, and sometimes visit privately with people you have met there -- and that his sitting down without being invited is making you uncomfortable.
The second is to choose some other restaurants to visit on alternate Saturday nights, so you won't be sitting ducks whenever your husband's cousin is in the mood for company.