DEAR ABBY: I have been dating an amazing girl, "Nina," for two months, and have fallen madly in love with her. Although contemplating marriage at this point might seem presumptuous, I'm convinced that this is where we're headed.
My concern is Nina's mother, "Joan." Although Joan is fully capable of working, she has chosen to "guilt" Nina into supporting her. She makes little or no financial contribution and works as little as possible. Nina is convinced that her mother is helpless, although Joan has never been diagnosed with a physical or psychological chronic illness.
I'm afraid that if I marry Nina, she will insist that we take care of her mother for the rest of her life. This would take a heavy toll on both the marriage and our finances. How can I make Nina recognize that my concern is valid without having her think I'm heartless? -- THREE'S A CROWD IN NEW YORK
DEAR THREE'S A CROWD: A step in the right direction would be to have a long engagement, and insist that before you tie the knot you have premarital counseling to ensure the two of you are in agreement about what the marriage will involve.