DEAR ABBY: I am 25 and have fallen in love with "Brad," a wonderful and very successful businessman. On a recent trip out of town, my co-workers were joking that we were going to elope.
I told Brad about it and how ridiculous it was, since we have been dating only about six months. He replied that we couldn't elope because I haven't signed a pre-nup! I stewed over it for a couple of days and, because I couldn't get it off my mind, brought it up again and asked him if he was serious.
Brad said he was. He said he has worked hard for what he has (which I understand) and mentioned the fact that I have a failed first marriage. I didn't think that was fair. My husband had cheated on me, and we were married only a few months. We talked further, and Brad said if he thought I was with him because of his money, he wouldn't be with me.
I understand his reasons for wanting a pre-nup, but doesn't getting one indicate that we are preparing to fail? I am pretty sure marriage will be in our future, and I'll sign a pre-nup (after my attorney reviews it), but it seems like negative thinking. How can I get my head around this? -- DON'T FEEL TRUSTED IN ALABAMA
DEAR DON'T: One way to "get your head around it" would be to remember that a pre-nuptial agreement carries with it guarantees for BOTH parties. Many couples have them to protect assets accumulated before marriage. Such a document not only protects the man, it can be structured so that YOU have certain guarantees should the marriage not work out.
I strongly recommend that you discuss this with your attorney before you discuss it with Brad again. As with any other legal document, I agree that it should be reviewed with your legal counsel before you sign it.