DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old high school girl. I'm friendly, cheerful, religious and an honors student. I am also addicted to pornography.
Over the past few years I have been an on-again, off-again addict. I'll look, feel good, feel bad, swear never to do it again, stay clean for a few months and then start again.
A few months ago I told my mother what I was doing, and she agreed to monitor the situation. But I know how to delete my online history, so she doesn't know I'm doing it again.
I'm scared. I'm a virgin and would like to stay that way. But I'm starting to feel apathetic toward my grades, I'm thinking more about sex, I have lost respect for most of the opposite sex, and I'm one step from acting out.
If I tell Mom, I know she'll take away my computer. The best friends I have are online. I'll be isolated if she takes it away. I'm also not sure I want to quit looking. It makes me feel good and keeps me from being stressed, but my religion and the changes in my behavior tell me it's wrong.
I mentioned it to my school counselor once. She said I'm just "expressing my sexuality in my own way." Is she right? Or do I need help? What should I do? -- ADDICTED AND ASHAMED IN IOWA
DEAR ADDICTED: Forgive me for disagreeing with your counselor, but the problem with pornography is the distorted vision it gives viewers of what sex is really about. Addiction, by definition, is being consumed by and unable to stop a behavior. If you think you are alone in this problem, let me assure you that you are not.
Please tell your mother what's going on. You should talk to a licensed professional who has been trained in the treatment of addiction. This does not mean you must give up your computer -- simply moving it to a central location might help. But conquering your problem will take professional help, and I urge you not to wait to ask for it or you will find yourself in even more serious trouble.