DEAR ABBY: I would appreciate your opinion on a matter that has me concerned. My son and his wife have gone on a trip to Africa. I am watching the grandchildren part of the time while their parents are gone.
The night before my son left, I said, "To be prudent and prepared in case of emergency, in the event you have an accident, who will be the permanent guardians for these children?" His reply was, "That is none of your business. It is a personal matter."
Was I out of bounds to ask that question? -- GUILT-RIDDEN IN REDMOND, WASH.
DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN: Absolutely not. Your question was a timely and intelligent one. A more pertinent question would now be why your son became defensive that you asked. Could it be that he feels guilty because the answer is you will not be named as guardian?
If that's the case, then some written provision should be made specifying that if anything happens to him and your daughter-in-law, you will have visitation with your grandchildren -- because unless it is on paper, there is no guarantee you will.