Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Taxpayers Get 'Stimulated' by Filing 2007 Tax Return
DEAR ABBY: The IRS needs help from your readers.
Starting in May, economic stimulus payments of up to $600 for individuals and $1,200 for married couples will be issued by the IRS based on 2007 tax returns. Parents also get $300 for each eligible child.
To receive it, people must file a 2007 tax return. That's all there is to it. And here's where your readers can help: Millions of people are eligible, but may not know it. Certain retirees, disabled vets and low-wage workers do not normally file a tax return. However, this year they must in order to receive the payments.
Your readers can help not just the IRS but perhaps themselves, friends or family by spreading the word. Please ask them to mention it to people they think might qualify. The eligibility rules are on irs.gov, the best source of information.
Generally, people who have at least $3,000 from earned income or certain benefits from Social Security, Railroad Retirement and Veterans Affairs -- or a combination of income from these benefits -- are eligible. They need only provide a few details on a Form 1040A. We'll do the rest. -- DOUG SHULMAN, IRS COMMISSIONER
DEAR DOUG: You're a wise man who obviously understands the power of word-of-mouth "advertising." And I am sure Dear Abby readers will be glad to pitch in and help get the word out so that everyone who is entitled will receive a check. For further details, simply go to � HYPERLINK "http://www.irs.gov" ��www.irs.gov�. Readers, thank you for helping to publicize this effort.
DEAR ABBY: One day my dad was talking to one of my friends, and he said, "We're poor." Abby, we live in a nice house in a middle-class neighborhood. Both my parents have their master's degrees, and I never have to worry about having something to eat or if I can afford to pay for my college education.
My parents always make comments about how much things cost and how much they can't buy. I'm sorry, but it's just a little bit irksome. I feel like their obsession with money is putting a crimp on enjoying the good things in life. Why can't they be a little more "cup is half-full"? -- LINDSAY IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LINDSAY: Your father may have gotten some bad news about his investments the day he spoke to your friend -- as many people have over the past year -- or perhaps he suspected that she was palling around with you because she thought you had money. Ask your dad why he said what he did, because the answer could be enlightening.
It would have been helpful if you had mentioned what preceded your father's comment. That would have put it in context.
DEAR ABBY: Why do people put old photos in the obituaries? When photos started appearing in obituaries, I thought it was a little strange. But publishing a photo taken at age 20 of a person who died at 85 makes no sense to me. -- JUST CALL ME SNAPSHOT
DEAR SNAPSHOT: Consider this: Perhaps the deceased -- or the grieving family -- preferred that he or she be remembered in the full bloom of youth rather than ravaged by age or disease. That's the logical explanation.
Woman's 'Benefits Package' Sidesteps Matters of Love
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a woman in Phoenix -- where we both lived -- for the past three years. We were in an exclusive relationship, but not living together because I was going through a divorce when we met. Throughout our time together I have helped "Jackie" with rent and cash gifts.
I have since moved to California, and Jackie would like to come and live with me. I thought it would be nice, but a cohabitation agreement would be necessary because I have a lot of assets and she has very few.
After some discussion, she came up with an agreement, but I feel the benefits package she's asking for is too high. She's asking me to pay all living expenses, housing, food, health insurance, a new car with auto insurance and an allowance of $3,000 a month.
I balked on this "deal" because it seems more like a rental agreement rather than a loving relationship. She maintains that she needs a "cushion" in case the relationship doesn't work out because she'll be leaving her job and friends behind.
My friends laugh when I tell them the terms of the arrangement. What are your thoughts? -- WAITING IN CAPISTRANO
DEAR WAITING: If Jackie expects you to pay for everything, including health insurance and an allowance, it is plain that she won't be seeking employment and will be taking an early retirement when she goes to Capistrano. If the relationship does not work out, the consequences would affect her financially for the rest of her life.
Nowhere in your letter did you mention the word "marriage." While both of you may have reasons for wanting to remain single, if you love Jackie, wouldn't you want her to be taken care of if something should happen to you? Rather than gathering advice from friends, ask your lawyer what a fair and appropriate agreement would be under the circumstances.
P.S. It does seem that the guaranteed benefit package Jackie has in mind for herself is a bit "rich."
DEAR ABBY: My husband has four siblings, all adults with families of their own. A little more than a year ago, my father-in-law, "Carl," asked Mom for a divorce. That's when we learned that their relationship had been going downhill for several years.
All of the "kids," especially my husband, have embraced Mom and shunned Carl. They say terrible things about him and his new girlfriend, "Angie," whom they refuse to meet. We hardly see Carl anymore, and the few times he has come to our home for dinner, my husband has made it clear that Angie is not welcome.
I don't pretend to know how it feels to have your parents split up after 40 years. I try to be understanding and supportive to my husband and his family. I have kept my opinions to myself, but I am frustrated with all of them. I'm certain Carl waited to end his marriage until after all his children were old enough to understand. I feel they need to make some kind of move to get past this. Is there anything I can do? -- KEEPING IT TO MYSELF IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR KEEPING IT: No, there isn't. Your husband and his siblings are reacting emotionally to the breakup of their parents' marriage. Perhaps at a later date -- after more time passes -- they will come to accept it. That is, unless they perceive Angie as having caused the divorce.
I see nothing positive to be gained by putting yourself in the middle of this. Sometimes silence is golden.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS SLIP AWAY IN SPITE OF WOMAN'S DEVOTION
DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced woman with two children. Throughout my life, I have always liked having one close female friend and a few other casual acquaintances. But these close relationships last only five to 10 years.
Abby, I am a "do anything for you," truly devoted friend. I am totally accommodating, to the point that I rearrange my activities and forgo my own wishes -- the "whatever you want to do" type. In spite of this, these "best friend" relationships, which theoretically shouldn't end, eventually do. The other person is usually not quite as committed as I am, even though she likes my company.
Why does this happen when I try so hard and go out of my way to maintain the friendship? -- TRUE BLUE IN ALLENTOWN, PA.
DEAR TRUE BLUE: Not all friendships last forever. Many have a beginning, a middle and an end, and people drift apart. Perhaps if you spread your friendship around rather than depend on just one person, and actually listened to your own needs rather than continually sacrificing them, your relationships would become more mutual. With more of the usual give-and-take, they might last longer.
DEAR ABBY: I'm 14, and I'm really worried about my best friend, "Allie." I moved from our old school to a school nearby, so I haven't talked to her as much lately as I used to. Allie doesn't call often, but when she does, she tells me about talking to boys online. This is how she met her current boyfriend, who is our age and lives in Texas. (We live in Ohio.)
Allie and this boy talk on the phone often, and it scares me. I'm scared she and someone she meets online will get together, and it will go badly.
She has been telling guys online that she's a cheerleader at our local college, which she isn't, of course. She's in ninth grade like I am. Should I tell her parents what's going on, or someone else? My mom and dad think I should call the police. What do you think, Abby? -- FEARFUL IN ALLIANCE, OHIO
DEAR FEARFUL: Allie shouldn't be lying about her age and pretending to be someone she isn't. And there's no guarantee that the "boys" she's talking to aren't 45, married and also lying about THEIR ages. Allie appears to be vulnerable, gullible and looking for trouble. And that's why your mom and dad should tip off her parents about what's going on, before trouble finds Allie.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Josie" who lives in another state where the time is two hours earlier than where I live. I have asked her please not to call my home after 8 p.m. my time because this is when I am preparing my two children, ages 3 and 1, for bed. My daughter is a very light sleeper.
Josie feels I am being silly. She says other people she calls in my area don't put such limitations on her. She has suggested I "just unplug the phone if I don't want it to ring."
Abby, this has created a huge issue between us, and I need to know if my request is unreasonable. -- YOUNG MOM, BLOOMINGTON, ILL.
DEAR YOUNG MOM: Your request is perfectly reasonable, and if your "friend" was not so self-centered, she would understand that and be more cooperative. You should not have to unplug your phone to prevent her from disturbing your children, because if you did you might be unavailable in case of an emergency.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)