DEAR ABBY: I need your help. I am happily married to a wonderful man but recently became attracted to a co-worker. The man is completely not my type and I would never act on these feelings, but it's starting to distract me at work. I think he feels the same way, but would never approach me because he knows I am married and ethical.
I have thought about leaving my job, but I am very successful here. Walking away would be a bad career move for me and put a financial damper on my family. As long as I don't act on my feelings -- or even discuss them -- is it morally wrong to continue working here? I know it's normal to be attracted to other people, but I have never felt THIS attracted to anyone other than my husband before. This is making me feel extremely guilty, but I can't help my feelings. What should I do? -- UNSURE IN SYRACUSE
DEAR UNSURE: The time has come to have a truth session -- with yourself. If you are attracted to your co-worker to the point that it is "distracting," could you be sending him signals that you are available?
If that's the case, it might be better for your marriage -- and your career -- to explore openings elsewhere. If it's not, then please understand that marriage is not a prophylactic against becoming attracted to others. However, responsible adults don't take the bait, and that should include you. Nothing in life is free, and this could cost you your future.