DEAR ABBY: Why do people think it's OK to go up to someone with long hair in a ponytail and pull it? I am currently growing my hair for Locks of Love. It makes me furious when people come up and jerk it. Not only is it painful, but isn't it a form of assault? What would be an appropriate response? -- HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW
DEAR HAIR TODAY: Pulling someone's ponytail is a childish impulse, and yes, it is a form of assault -- but probably not prosecutable. The proper response is, "Ouch! Don't do that again. It hurts!"