Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: When my new boss, a Marilyn Monroe look-alike, began working here five years ago, I immediately had a crush on her. Two years ago, I began working directly with her in the office and fell head-over-heels, smitten to the bone with her.

She's married, I'm married, and I have never made a pass. The problem is, I have become obsessed with her. I can't stop thinking about her all day. I dream about her at night. I feel I have never been in love like this, and it has reached the point where it consumes every second of my day.

I love my wife and would not want to jeopardize my life with her. But how can I stop this overwhelming passion that I feel for "Marilyn"? Please don't tell me to change jobs. That would be my worst nightmare. I can't picture my life without being at least able to see this woman and exchange pleasantries with her. -- LOST IN LOVE IN TAMPA

DEAR LOST IN LOVE: You said it yourself -- you have become obsessed. This "grand passion" is not only unfair to your wife, it is also unfair to your boss because although she may remind you of Marilyn Monroe, I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that she would rather be taken seriously.

As I see it, you have several choices: psychotherapy, aversion therapy or another job. Because psychotherapy can be expensive, and you won't change jobs, try this: Put a thick rubber band on your wrist. When you catch yourself lusting after Marilyn, give the rubber band a strong "snap." It will not only bring you back to the reality of the task at hand, but also the fact that you're married. With luck, you will begin to associate lusting after this woman with pain, and stop daydreaming when you're supposed to be working.

DEAR ABBY: I need your help. Senior prom is coming up, and there's this girl at school I'd like to ask, but frankly, I don't have the nerve. I know it's still a couple of months away, but I want to ask her before someone else does. Please, I really need advice. -- SCAREDY-CAT, KENAI, ALASKA

DEAR SCAREDY-CAT: There's a saying: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Asking for a date may seem risky because nobody wants to be told "no." But unless you take the risk, you will never hear "yes."

Talk to this girl at school. Start the conversation by asking her something about a class you're in together or what she thought about a sporting event. Then ask if she has plans for the prom. If her answer is no, then say, "Would you like to go with me?" It's that simple.

If talking to her at school would be too embarrassing for you, the alternative is calling her at home. If that's the way you'd prefer to do it, the directions are the same as in the paragraph above.

DEAR READERS: For those of you who live in states with daylight saving time, it begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow morning. So, remember the saying, "Spring forward, fall back," and set your clocks AHEAD one hour tonight at bedtime.

Fun fact: Daylight saving time is not observed in Puerto Rico, Guam, the Virgin Islands, American Samoa, Hawaii or Arizona. However, the Navajo Nation utilizes daylight saving time -- even in the state of Arizona, because of its large size and location in three states. (Source:

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600