DEAR ABBY: When my new boss, a Marilyn Monroe look-alike, began working here five years ago, I immediately had a crush on her. Two years ago, I began working directly with her in the office and fell head-over-heels, smitten to the bone with her.
She's married, I'm married, and I have never made a pass. The problem is, I have become obsessed with her. I can't stop thinking about her all day. I dream about her at night. I feel I have never been in love like this, and it has reached the point where it consumes every second of my day.
I love my wife and would not want to jeopardize my life with her. But how can I stop this overwhelming passion that I feel for "Marilyn"? Please don't tell me to change jobs. That would be my worst nightmare. I can't picture my life without being at least able to see this woman and exchange pleasantries with her. -- LOST IN LOVE IN TAMPA
DEAR LOST IN LOVE: You said it yourself -- you have become obsessed. This "grand passion" is not only unfair to your wife, it is also unfair to your boss because although she may remind you of Marilyn Monroe, I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that she would rather be taken seriously.
As I see it, you have several choices: psychotherapy, aversion therapy or another job. Because psychotherapy can be expensive, and you won't change jobs, try this: Put a thick rubber band on your wrist. When you catch yourself lusting after Marilyn, give the rubber band a strong "snap." It will not only bring you back to the reality of the task at hand, but also the fact that you're married. With luck, you will begin to associate lusting after this woman with pain, and stop daydreaming when you're supposed to be working.