DEAR ABBY: I am struggling with the question of whether or not to reveal a confidence made more than two years ago. My boyfriend at the time, "Jerry," revealed to me that he was gay. We remained friends, but I moved on and started dating someone else.
Jerry never confided his secret to anyone else and, eventually feeling overcome with depression, took his own life. Jerry told me more than once that he knew how his parents would feel if he told them he was gay. He saw the way they snickered when they saw a gay couple. They made it very clear to him that they didn't think it was normal. Jerry was sure, seeing the way his parents viewed gay people, that this was how he, too, would be viewed.
His parents are now blaming me for the fact that Jerry took his own life. They say it was because we broke up. Would it be selfish of me to tell them the truth -- that THEY are the real reason? Or should I continue to keep his secret? -- HIS BEST FRIEND, ROCHESTER, N.Y.
DEAR BEST FRIEND: You should reveal that your friend told you he was gay and was worried about how his parents would accept it. However, when you tell them, do not expect them to believe you. It will be far easier for them to continue pointing the finger at you than to accept that they had a role in their son's suicide.