DEAR ABBY: My fiance bought a ring and necklace for me for Valentine's Day. The ring was to be a wedding ring. Both are yellow gold, which is something I have never worn, nor do I care to.
The first ring he selected was white gold. Then he decided that with the yellow gold, he would get "more bang for his buck." A friend of ours, "Diana," went with him and told me the story. I told Diana I'm thinking of asking him to return the items and have the two of us look for a white gold set. Her response? "You'd better shut up and wear them. He may send you packing if you hurt his feelings."
Abby, it's only a request, but this will be a lifelong remembrance for me to wear. What should I do? -- IN A TIZZY IN OKLAHOMA CITY
DEAR IN A TIZZY: I'm guessing your boyfriend took Diana to help with the selection because he thought she'd know what you like. Frankly, he took the wrong girl. He should have taken you.
If Diana is truly a friend, she should tell him she "forgot" that you have a strong preference for white gold and suggest the two of you exchange the set for something you might like better.
While some readers may not agree, not all surprises turn out to be pleasant ones. The most practical way to choose wedding/engagement rings is for the man to talk to a jeweler in advance about what he can afford to pay and ask that a selection of rings in his price range be put aside for him and his girlfriend when he brings her in. That way, she can have something she will enjoy wearing, he won't feel pressured into spending more than he can afford, and everybody's happy.