DEAR ABBY: I have read letters about girls who are overweight and that people should be careful about what they say to them. May I add something for those who are the opposite?
My daughter, "Claire," is 18 and since birth has always been small. Her doctor told me she will always be petite. Claire is 5 feet 2 inches. She weighs 105 pounds and is small-boned. Shopping with her and seeing how difficult it is to find something to wear can be a trying experience. (She wears a size 0 or 1.)
It is adults -- not her peers -- who make my daughter upset. I cannot tell you how many people have told her she looks anorexic. Claire is funny, talented, eats very well and has a boyfriend who thinks she's beautiful. She tries hard not to show the hurt caused by comments like, "Do you ever eat?" or "Don't you feed her?" and the most frequent, "You need to be careful. You're WAY too thin." She is NOT! I have taken her for her checkups, and her doctor says her weight is right where it should be.
Abby, please let people know that girls of all sizes can see themselves through others' words and opinions. I can only stick up for Claire when I'm with her. I have told her to set people straight and say, "I'm just the right size." -- PETITE'S MOM IN SALEM, VA.
DEAR MOM: I'm printing your letter as a reminder to anyone who thinks it's permissible to make personal comments about the body types of strangers. However, if Claire were my daughter, I would tell her to be more assertive when responding to comments like the ones she's getting. I would tell her to say, "What you said is very rude. My doctor says my weight is fine, so keep your opinions to yourself."