DEAR ABBY: From the very beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, "Rusty," I have known he was my soulmate. During one of our conversations about marriage, the subject arose of who comes first in a marriage -- the wife or the children. I was brought up to believe that the wife should come first, but Rusty disagrees. Rusty insists the children should come first.
Abby, am I wrong in my thinking? What happened to a man and a woman becoming one? Oh, by the way, Rusty has a 10-year-old girl from a previous relationship. -- WONDERING IN HOT SPRINGS, ARK.
DEAR WONDERING: Forgive me if this seems negative, but while you may "know" that Rusty is your soulmate, I am not convinced. If the discussion you mentioned came about because of Rusty's daughter, then he has made clear to you who comes first. And if you're smart, you won't turn it into a competition. You'll look for an unencumbered man who can give you what you need.