DEAR ABBY: When I was 6, my stepfather molested me repeatedly. He served seven years in prison, got lots of therapy and came out a much better man. I am now 20, and he recently e-mailed me and apologized for everything.
I forgave him a long time ago and let him know. We are now on speaking terms via e-mail only, but my boyfriend, my best friend and my mother all think I'm stupid for forgiving him. Abby, what should I tell these people? -- FORGIVING IN SEATTLE
DEAR FORGIVING: Tell them that carrying a load of hatred and resentment toward your abuser was more of a burden than forgiving him. HOWEVER, forgiving your molester doesn't mean that you must have a continuing dialogue with him.
I find it extremely inappropriate that he's trying to insinuate himself into your life now. If you have any intention of allowing it, I urge you to first discuss it with a psychotherapist who specializes in sexual impulse disorders. Although you are no longer a child, one day you might have one. Forewarned is forearmed.