DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Jade," and I went to college together and now, years later, we live in different parts of the country. She just married a man ("Paul") with whom she is deeply in love, and I am happy for her. At the same time, though, I feel sadness because I do not like Paul. He is cold and curt with me, and seems to be devoid of personality. I feel uncomfortable in his presence.
Because we always stay at each other's homes when we visit, going to see Jade now, of course, means having to be around her husband -- and I dread such a trip. If I tell her I don't like Paul, you can imagine how upset she'll be. Should I simply announce that from here on out I'll be staying at a hotel when I come to visit? -- LOVES HER, NOT HIM
DEAR LOVES HER: By all means. Your visits will no longer be two college friends getting together because a third person has been added to the mix. From your description of Paul's behavior, he isn't particularly comfortable around you either. And if Jade should give you an argument -- as she may -- that's the way you should explain it to her.