DEAR ABBY: I'm 6 feet 2 inches, weigh 240 pounds and can bench-press 400 pounds. I practice martial arts and shoot firearms for recreation and competition on weekends. I generally keep my social life to myself unless I am specifically asked because people have made jokes at my expense in the past.
I have worked for the same company for 10 years, and have not only mastered every aspect of my job but also trained most of my co-workers and their supervisors.
Recently, a supervisor's position opened up, and many thought I was going to get it. A friend was hired instead. He apologized to me, then told me about things that had been said about me behind my back. Apparently, I'll never become a supervisor because "people don't respect me; they fear me." Also, they are "afraid I'll lose it and kill everyone."
I have no idea what to say or do with this information. I can't change who I am, and I can't change the way others see me after all this time. What would you suggest I do to get myself promoted? -- GENTLE GIANT IN FLORIDA
DEAR GENTLE GIANT: It is important that you find out whether what your friend told you is true. While your physique may be imposing, after 10 years at the company your co-workers should be familiar enough with your temperament to know that you do not pose a threat of "losing it."
Ask your employer why you were passed up for the promotion and if it's true that you have advanced as far as you can with the company. If the answer is yes, then you should look for a job with more opportunity for advancement elsewhere.