DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years. His mother has become very ill and is dying. My problem is, I don't know how to comfort him in his time of need. I am trying my best to console him, but he gets angry. I try to love him, but he pushes me away. I try to talk to him and he tunes me out. What can I do to help my husband? -- HEARTBROKEN IN ARIZONA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: You are a loving, caring wife, but please stop trying so hard to "help" your husband. Everyone must deal with death in his (or her) own way, and the things you think might console you may only make him feel worse.
What you can do is be there for him. Do not push him to express his feelings. If he wants to talk, listen. If he tunes you out, stop talking because it means he's not ready to hear what you're trying to communicate. Tell him you love him, but give him his space.
This may not be easy when all you want to do is put your arms around him right now, but please consider what I have said.