DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Carole," has been saying for five years that she's going to kill herself when she's 65. She lives alone, her children are grown and she has a limited income. She told me she wants to go while she is in possession of her faculties. She doesn't want to get sick and die in a nursing home.
Of course I have tried to talk her out of it, but as the years have progressed, I realize that Carole is serious. She has been tying up loose ends and fixing up her house so that her daughter will inherit something nice.
Carole refuses counseling and actually seems happier since making her decision. Sometimes, after one of our deep discussions, she almost has me convinced that I'm a fool for not wanting to follow her path.
This is her last year, and I'm feeling increasingly anxious. I wonder if there isn't an avenue I haven't yet explored. Carole is pretty, healthy, walks with a jaunt in her step and holds a good job. I have talked to a suicide-prevention counselor who said some people can't be stopped and that it's no crime to THINK about suicide. Any ideas? -- SISTER WITH A HEAVY HEART
DEAR SISTER: Has anyone pointed out to Carole that 65 is the new 45? I can understand the concept of rational suicide if someone is terminally ill and in constant pain, but to go in the full flower of life strikes me as premature.
You say your sister has spoken to you about this for the past several years. How do her children feel about it? Surely, this can't have their blessing.
I can't "save" Carole and neither can you -- but it occurs to me that the reason she really wants to go is because she has nothing that keeps her invested in living. Even if she doesn't value her own life, she needs to know that others do.
P.S. People can be committed for observation if they are considered a danger to themselves or others -- and your sister may qualify.