DEAR ABBY: My grandmother died recently after being hospitalized for more than a year. My boyfriend, "Tom," has a sister who is a registered nurse at the hospital where Gramma was staying. "Gail" was one of my grandmother's nurses and would often tell Tom about the treatments. It bothered me because I felt it was a breach of confidentiality, and I sometimes wondered if she discussed Gramma's condition with others as well.
The day Gramma died, I was working. Tom came to the restaurant where I work to give me the sad news. I became emotional and asked Tom how he knew. He explained that Gail had called him.
I understand that Tom wanted me to hear the news in person, but my family had decided they would wait to tell me until after I got home from work that evening, which is what I would have preferred.
Gail may not have meant any harm, but I don't believe what she did was right or fair. Should I report her to the hospital? I am still furious about it. -- SAD AND CONFUSED IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR SAD AND CONFUSED: Yes, you should. The administrators need to know that the patient privacy policies they have in place are being violated, since an employee who would do this to you is likely to be doing it to others, which could lead to a lawsuit. However, you should be prepared for the fact that reporting your boyfriend's sister will probably end the romance.