DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have decided to sell our house and move south. We plan to purchase a mobile home. I asked our adult children what they thought of our decision.
One son made a quick trip home. Most of what he had to say pertained to issues from the past. One remark stung: He said that my husband and I had not showered or used deodorant on the day of my mother's funeral. True, we didn't shower that morning, but we had the night before. Because we depend on well water and had three extra people in the house, we wouldn't have had enough for all five of us to get a warm shower. We did use deodorant and cologne, and my husband put on aftershave.
We were crushed by our son's comment. I no longer wish to be an overnight guest in his home because I know they will be watching my every move. I would be preoccupied with worry about whether I have body odor. I love my son and our daughter-in-law, but the thought of being around them now makes me uncomfortable. -- NOT A SMELLY MOTHER
DEAR NOT: Your son was obviously angry with you and his father when he made that trip to see you. Could it have been because he felt that the house should be a part of his inheritance? Whether or not you bathed or showered on the morning of your mother's funeral is, frankly none of your son's business. What doesn't pass the "sniff test" is that he would throw it up to you at this late date.
I don't blame you for feeling reluctant to be a houseguest in your son's home, nor should you, until he displays a serious attitude adjustment and offers the apology you are due.