DEAR ABBY: You often print letters from parents who are baffled by how selfish and ungrateful their children are. They are hurt and perplexed because they believe they were the best parents anyone ever had.
It's time to take off the blinders. These parents are just as egocentric as the kids they raised. Their children are a direct byproduct of their upbringing. Kids don't turn lazy or selfish overnight. It is their parents' duty to teach them how to be caring, concerned and appreciative, but someone failed to teach them every step of the way. Somehow, they repeatedly showed their children that it was OK to treat others badly and that they, as parents, deserve no appreciation.
Parents: If a student hasn't learned, then the teacher hasn't taught. If the method you have used to teach someone has failed, then it's up to you to do something differently and try again -- or to accept your failure and make the best of the situation. -- ONE WHO KNOWS
DEAR ONE WHO KNOWS: Your point is well-taken, although you may be overly harsh in your assumption about the parents' motivation. I agree that some parents fail to assert themselves because it's the "easy way out" instead of laying down the law when discipline is needed. However, when parents have had a difficult childhood, they sometimes have a tendency to "overcorrect" in the opposite direction, trying to make sure their children don't have the same experience. And that is why they do too much, give too much and fail to teach their children consequences or how to achieve true independence.