DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our late 30s, healthy and in good shape. Our love life is good, and we get along better now than we ever have in our marriage.
Before we get any older, my husband has asked me to visit a nudist beach or resort with him. He also says he would like to spice up our sex life by making love in the forest beside a mountain stream, or even the back seat of our car in a secluded spot.
Coming from a religious background, I am not totally comfortable with the idea of going nude at a beach in front of a lot of other people, or the thought of being caught having sex in the woods. My husband says that visiting a nudist beach or resort is not about exhibitionism or immorality. He says it is about enjoying nature and feeling the sensation of being free outdoors.
To be honest, these are things I might like to try, but I am just not sure. I'm concerned about what others would think if they found out. My husband says what we do is our own business, and the only way anyone we know would find out is if we told them.
Would it be wrong for us to go to a nude beach or resort, just to try it out? -- WONDERING WIFE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR WONDERING WIFE: I recommend you consider your husband's suggestions one at a time, and see how comfortable you are with each one.
There is nothing sinful about going to a nude beach with one's husband. When you do, you will see entire families and people of every age enjoying themselves --- all looking remarkably similar, and none of them leering at anyone else. Should you run into people you know, I can't imagine anyone gossiping about it, since they would have to explain how they happened to see you.
As to spicing up your sex life by making love in public places: Although some people may enjoy the "danger" of possibly being discovered, I don't recommend it because it leaves couples vulnerable to being exploited by anyone who happens by, or being cited for violating local ordinances against indecent exposure.
DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma with my neighbors, a young couple who moved into our neighborhood a couple of years ago. They are a very nice couple and we became friendly. But over the last several months, they have been spending an inordinate amount of time in our home.
They show up unannounced and often stay for more than two hours! My husband and I have two children and full-time jobs, so we don't have a lot of free time as it is. But when these two show up, we can't accomplish anything. They don't pick up on hints or gentle nudging when we try to get them to leave.
I dread the sound of the doorbell these days because I know it will be them. Sometimes it seems like they are watching to see when we come home. How can I tell them we need some space without hurting their feelings? I like them, but these unannounced visits are starting to take a toll on me. -- TRAPPED IN MY OWN HOME, FRONT ROYAL, VA.
DEAR TRAPPED: Your neighbors do not respect boundaries because you have set none for them. The next time they show up, do not let them in. Tell them you have chores you must do, and ask them to call before coming over in the future to see if it is convenient for them to visit. To speak up is not rude -- it is self-defense, which you have a right to practice when your home is being invaded.
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