DEAR ABBY: My sister and I are throwing a large 40th anniversary/60th birthday party for my parents and sending them on a trip as our gift to them.
In lieu of gifts, my sister sent out invitations that stated we would instead be graciously accepting donations to help pay for the trip. Because the range of donations will vary from person to person, my sister has decided to give Mother a list detailing the amount given by each guest. She feels that because some folks may go "above and beyond" what others donate, our mother needs to know who the most generous gifts come from.
I am vehemently opposed to the idea. I feel that any donation that helps to pay for the trip is "above and beyond" anyone's obligation, and that their being part of the celebration is enough -- regardless of how much they give.
I see no reason for my parents ever to know who gives what, and think that my sister sharing the information is in terrible taste. Your thoughts, please? -- EMBARRASSED IN PITTSFORD, N.Y.
DEAR EMBARRASSED: If the party and trip are a gift from you and your sister, I am mystified as to why the guests are asked to make contributions to foot the bill. I agree that any donation that will help to pay for the trip is above and beyond anyone's "obligation," and for your sister to give your parents an accounting of what each guest forks over would be tacky in the extreme.