DEAR ABBY: My wife just had a D and C because the baby was dead. There was no heartbeat. My problem is my wife doesn't want to talk about it.
I love my wife more than any woman I have ever known. It hurts me more than words can express that she keeps this to herself. I love her and want to hold her, but she is pulling away. It's as if she feels this is my fault. I would like for us to cry together over the loss of our baby. How do I get through to her that this is what we need to do? -- SAD HUSBAND IN OHIO
DEAR SAD HUSBAND: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your baby. Everyone deals with loss differently. Your need to talk and cry may not be what your wife is ready to do at this time.
It would be helpful for you to contact your clergyperson and inquire about grief support groups and a grief therapist for yourself and your wife. Please clip this letter, show it to her, and ask her to go with you. If it hasn't already been done, consider holding a memorial service for the baby.
An organization that can help is The Compassionate Friends. Members are parents who have experienced the loss of a child. To learn more about them, visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.compassionatefriends.org" ��www.compassionatefriends.org� or call toll-free (877) 969-0010.