DEAR ABBY: My husband's stepsister, "Melanie," visits us from Alabama for five days every year. When Melanie stays with us, she expects to make us a "Southern dinner" one night during her stay. Before she arrived, I told my husband, "Lawton," that I didn't want her making dinner because she goes through my kitchen drawers and cabinets without asking where anything is. She just takes over my kitchen!
I don't mind if Melanie helps herself to something in the refrigerator, gets a plate and silverware or something of that nature. But for her to come in and take over my kitchen and root through every drawer and cabinet truly upsets me.
Lawton went against my wishes and told Melanie it was OK to make the dinner. Abby, I couldn't even stand to be in my own kitchen while she was preparing it. I felt I couldn't say one word in my own home.
Lawton accused me of being "hostile" to her and a spoiled brat. He also let me know it is his home, too, and when his stepsister comes to visit, she's allowed to do whatever she wants.
Am I wrong in feeling the way I do? If I am a guest in someone's home (even my sister's), I never do anything without asking. I was brought up to respect another person's home. I feel my husband should have complied with my wishes. Am I wrong? Please enlighten me. -- UPSET WIFE, POTTSTOWN, PA.
DEAR UPSET WIFE: Your feelings are understandable, and many people -- of both sexes -- feel as you do about their kitchens. However, since "preparing a Southern dinner" has become traditional when Melanie visits, my advice is to ask her what equipment she will need before she starts the preparation, so you can have it sitting on the counter ready for her. That will minimize the amount of "rooting" she has to do, and you will feel less invaded. Bon appetit, y'all!