DEAR ABBY: My 6-year-old grandson, "Andy," was "Daddy's boy" before his father and my daughter divorced. Now "Andrew" (the father) refuses to see Andy or even call him by name. I asked Andy if he misses his daddy a lot, and he nodded yes. It's overwhelmingly sad.
Distance isn't the problem. It's that Andrew has remarried and has a new son. Andy was named after his father; his new brother was given the same name!
I don't understand why Andrew is so cruelly punishing the boy. Andy has questions about the father he loves that we can't answer, and a brother he has never seen.
I hope Andrew will change his mind. He wants no contact with Andy or our side of the family, but I hope the rest of the family will stay in touch with the boy. My grandson needs all of his relatives even more now that his father chooses to be out of his life.
Abby, please print this so Andrew's family will know they are wanted and needed, not to take sides or to judge, but to love a child who is theirs, too. -- CONCERNED GRANDMA
DEAR CONCERNED GRANDMA: Your former son-in-law's actions are very revealing. They illustrate how shallow his commitment was to his firstborn child. In case your former in-laws miss seeing this letter, call them and tell them exactly what you've told me.
If the paternal grandparents choose not to continue their relationship with Andy, you and your daughter should seriously consider enlisting a male relative from your side of the family to spend some time with the boy.
If that's not possible, consider Big Brothers, an organization that provides caring volunteers willing to become mentors and give of their time and friendship. To contact a chapter near you, write: Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, 230 N. 13th St., Philadelphia, PA 19107; or visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.BBBS.org" ��www.BBBS.org�.