DEAR ABBY: I am an exchange student in Germany, nearing the end of my stay and going home in a couple of weeks. To express their gratitude to my host family for taking me in, my parents sent them a large package of sweets and candies from America.
My host brother's 14th birthday is coming up. His sister suggested he take the candies my parents sent to school and share them with his class for his birthday. Abby, I was appalled at her suggestion of "regifting" my parents' gift to the family. And I was even more shocked that no one in the family seemed to understand how this could be interpreted as ungrateful and rude.
After she made the suggestion, I interjected, saying that it would be mean to take it to school. They all replied with a surprised "Why?" I later explained to my host sister that I didn't want her brother to take the candies to school. Again I was asked, "Why not?"
What do you think of this behavior? I'm very hurt. It's not the first time I've experienced such thoughtless behavior from them. Is this some strange German custom, or does my host family have a severe lack of etiquette? -- HURT IN HOLSTEIN, GERMANY
DEAR HURT: It is neither. Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipients to do with as they wish -– and that includes "sharing the wealth" with others. The concept of sharing the candy was not thoughtless; the impulse was generous, and you overreacted.