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by Abigail Van Buren

Girlfriend's Past Indiscretion Gnaws at Man in Here and Now

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-something male who is madly in love with my girlfriend. That being said, I do have one concern. She dated a friend of mine for a short while prior to dating me. Their relationship was physically intimate, something I have reserved for only our relationship.

In short, I am having trouble facing my friend.

Can you advise me how to get over my discomfort at the physical nature of their relationship? She was never promiscuous. Her one "indiscretion" happens to be my good friend. -- TRYING TO GET OVER IT

DEAR TRYING: You can overcome your discomfort by recognizing that today many people come with a sexual past, and by not allowing yourself to dwell on it. (If you do, it'll be like pumping air into a balloon until it explodes.)

Your problem isn't unusual. Most people like to fantasize that the partner they have chosen has no sexual history. If you're worried about "comparisons" -- look at it this way: YOU'VE got the girl.