DEAR ABBY: I need some help. The guy I live with, "Arnold," doesn't want to get married, but I do. We have been together for 19 years. What should I do?
Also, I don't love Arnold like I did. Should I try to get back with my first love or what? (It's my former husband.) We were married eight years and had three kids. They are all grown now. -- CAN'T DECIDE IN OHIO
DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: If marriage is what you really want, then you have already devoted far more time than you should have to Arnold. Because you no longer love him as you did, the time has come to make other living arrangements and go on with your life.
If you still care for your former husband, once you are on your own I see no harm in contacting him. However, a lot of water has drifted under the bridge over the last 19 years –- so don't bet that he's still available.