DEAR ABBY: I was in an abusive relationship for about a year before I was finally arrested last summer for domestic violence. Since then I have enrolled in anger management class and have seen a psychologist. I have learned a lot since then and feel overwhelming remorse for what I have done.
I want to apologize to her, but there is a restraining order in effect. I feel so guilty. Any suggestions? -- DISTRAUGHT IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR DISTRAUGHT: In your case, guilt is good. It means you have a conscience. Do not, under any circumstances, try to contact your former girlfriend until you have successfully completed the anger management course and the therapy. Because there is a restraining order in place, any move you make in her direction will be construed as hostile and could land you in jail.