DEAR ABBY: "Rita" and I first became close in junior high. We are both in our mid-20s and currently live about two hours apart. We spent many hours together as teens. However, her demanding nature did always grate on me.
One year, when we were living on opposite coasts, I sent Rita an expensive birthday gift and card, but forgot to call her until the next day. Instead of thanking me, she pouted and accused me of "not valuing our friendship."
A few months ago, Rita sent me an angry e-mail because I had made plans with my boyfriend for two nights during her week-long stay in my town. (She was here for the wedding of a couple I do not know.) I wrote her back, explaining that I love her, but I am now a busy woman and don't have time for her childish behavior. I told her she expects a degree of attention that I cannot give her. We haven't spoken since.
Recently Rita e-mailed me and invited me to lunch. I have not responded. I simply have no desire to see her, as I have not enjoyed our relationship for years. Do I owe Rita anything besides wishing her the best? Should I see her? -- FEELING GUILTY IN PALO ALTO
DEAR FEELING GUILTY: Because you have no desire to see her, politely refuse the invitation. Friendship is supposed to be mutual, and you are in no way obligated to continue this one. Sometimes people simply grow apart, and this appears to be the case with you and Rita.