DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated 1,200 miles away from my family because of my husband's work. I haven't seen my mother since last September. My brother is having his 40th birthday, and Mother called my husband and begged him to let me come. Because I don't work, I don't like to ask my husband for vacation money for myself alone. He told her I could go.
My daughters, however, are having a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm taking a trip without them. They are 16 and 10, and have their father and grandmother to look after them while I'm gone. Of course, my husband's mother didn't like the fact that I'd be gone for a week. She's afraid she'll have to do something for one of them in my absence. (She does nothing all week but shop.)
My girls can take care of themselves, and my 10-year-old will be supervised by my 16-year-old and her father. I am just upset that I'm getting flak about going to see my mother. It has been almost a year! What can I say to my children to make them feel better about Mom taking a trip without them? -- FEELING GUILTY IN VIRGINIA
DEAR FEELING GUILTY: For heaven's sake, stop allowing them to make you feel guilty! It will only lessen your enjoyment of the family reunion. Tell your daughters goodbye, you'll see them in one week, and when you do, you'll bring them back a nice present.
Children tend to be self-centered creatures, so stop expecting them to think more about you than themselves right now. They will survive, trust me. And the respite will be good for all of you.