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by Abigail Van Buren

Subdued Colors at Funeral Are Way of Paying Respect

DEAR ABBY: My grandchild's mother -- she and my son were never married -- is being married soon. My wife and I have been invited to the wedding.

Must we attend? Our son will not be in attendance. All we would really want is to see our granddaughter, but we know we would have very little time with her at the wedding. We would prefer to send a nice gift, and use the time and money to visit at a different time so we can spend time with our granddaughter and visit our son.

What do you think we should do? -- MISSING OUR GRANDDAUGHTER IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MISSING: Because your finances are limited, and your grandchild will understandably be distracted at the time of the wedding, I agree that you should send a nice gift with your good wishes to the mother and visit your grandchild at a later date.