DEAR ABBY: My heart is aching. How should I tactfully suggest to my husband that we need marriage counseling? I don't want to provoke an argument about it, which I am afraid will happen.
We have just grown so far apart, and it's only been eight years. Everything is so negative, and I'm afraid I don't even like him anymore. I think we would be OK if we could get help. But I don't know where to start. -- FEELING ALONE IN WESTERVILLE, OHIO
DEAR FEELING ALONE: Tell your husband that you are concerned because HE doesn't seem to be happy. Tell him that you feel you have grown apart, but do not understand what has gone wrong. Tell him that you long for the relationship you had when you were first married, and that you would like for the two of you to get some marriage counseling.
If that provokes an argument, stay calm and explain that you aren't being accusatory or saying it to upset him -- just trying to bring the two of you closer again. If he refuses to go, then go without him. Counseling will help you decide the next step to take.