DEAR ABBY: One of my best friends, "Patty," just became engaged. I'm happy for her. Patty was one of my bridesmaids and even acted as unofficial maid of honor. She loaned me a small amount of money, which I haven't been able to pay back yet.
Patty called me the other day. When we spoke, she mentioned the money and asked when I would repay the loan. I told her I plan to pay her back as soon as I can. Then she told me her mother is having reservations about me being one of her bridesmaids. She said her mom wanted to make sure I knew they couldn't afford to pay for my dress.
The thing is, I already knew I'd have to pay for it. I'm the only bridesmaid she has said that to, and I feel insulted. I was already planning on buying my own dress. My husband now refuses to go to the wedding, and I'm having doubts about even being in it. The wedding is scheduled for next year, so I can't blame it on pre-wedding jitters. What should I do? Should I suck up my pride, or should I refuse to be a bridesmaid? I'm really hurt by what she said. -- ALMOST-BROKE BRIDESMAID
DEAR ALMOST BROKE: Has it occurred to you that Patty's mother's concerns might be valid? If you can't afford to repay the "small amount of money" your friend loaned you, how do you plan to pay for your dress? I see no reason why you should be offended that she raised the subject. If you have owed the money for more than a month, the bride and her mother have every right to be concerned.
Rather than being offended, I think you should be apologetic, set up a repayment plan NOW, and if you can't afford to be a member of the wedding party, face that fact and admit it so it doesn't create a problem at the last minute.