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by Abigail Van Buren

Workers Suffer Overexposure to Proud Dad's Baby Photos

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are both retired. We have been married less than a year.

When we were selling our individual dwellings and jointly purchasing one together, we discussed at length what we would use in furnishing the new residence. We mutually decided that most of my furniture and accessories were in better shape than those coming from his 12 years living as a widower in a furnished condo. He assured me that nothing he possessed had sentimental value. There were, however, many personal items belonging to his deceased wife.

He consulted me about each item -- should this be sold at a yard sale? Should that be given to charity? What about her hobby things? I tried to be fair in my assessment of their possible use in our new life together. The old Remington typewriter was sold to an antique dealer. The lace-making materials were given to the local recreation center.

Now, every time we get into an argument, he "reminds" me that there is very little in this house that is his. Then he goes on to say I "made" him dispose of things that meant a lot to him. What recourse do I have in silencing these unfair and untrue statements that serve only to inflame and cause smoldering resentment? -- GALLED IN GOODYEAR, ARIZ.

DEAR GALLED: Look at your husband and say: "I thought the decision to get rid of those things was mutual. I'm sorry you are sorry. If you're having regrets, consider this: You gave up those 'things,' but now you have ME -- and I love you."