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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Guilt About Affair Casts Shadow on Friendship

DEAR ABBY: I had an affair with a married man several years ago. It ended, and now I am friends with his wife. I want very much to tell her about the affair because I feel so guilty about it. I see her every day. She has joined the same church I go to, put her kids in the same school as my kids, and we go to all the same parties and have the same friends.

Everyone knows about the affair except her, and I feel uncomfortable every time I talk to her husband or when conversations arise regarding cheating. I know I'll feel more comfortable around her if I get this off my chest. Should I tell her? -- FEELING GUILTY IN SOUTH NEW JERSEY

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I see no reason to make this woman suffer so that you can feel better. If you feel you MUST confess, confess to someone who won't be hurt to hear the news -- such as a clergyman. They've heard just about everything.